Friday, August 10, 2012

Be A Friend Of Your Child, Not An Angry Parent

It is certainly true that rewarding the child is most appropriate way for their encouragement. If a child is learning how to walk on her own and when she falls on her first try, she will look at you for your response. It is absolutely most exciting moment for the parents, so child gets motivated to stand up from the ground to impress their parents. However, if parents discourage for their failure, the child will become discouraged and eventually that will affect badly on the child attitude. In the same way, it will apply to teenagers and adults too.
Whereas, behavior of parents changes as the child grows. They start expecting a lot from their child, which may give more pressure on the child’s psychology. We do not say our child that none is perfect in this world. We never say that’s okay: there is nothing wrong on your capability but you should not give up trying. Every child is different individual with different brain and emotions. It is most essential to give enough time to make everything right. Helping a child for everything may spoil the child and their dependency. If we give a book to a child with tough vocabulary and if we ask them to read, then it can be overwhelming to a child and he/she may loose his/her interest on reading afterwards. Instead, if we provide them a paper with simple words, then they will find it interesting and feel confidence onwards. Not only that, they will also develop the positive feeling toward study by mastering their capability.
In contrast, when a teenager did a mistake in their life that could be disastrous for them. This is not because of results of what they just did, but this is because they are afraid to share with their parents and thinking about their reaction. How can not we accept that they will learn from their own experiences? Definitely, it is our duty to protect the child and prevent them from choosing a wrong track of life. Nonetheless, if they do so then its best to support them by staying on their side and supporting them to give their best on the upcoming days, rather than showing a cruelty and blaming. Because of this habit, child hesitates to share their experiences to their parents and by the time they know it is already too late to stop the consequences.
If we are friendly with the child and stay on their side encouraging for the best, we can anticipate that what is going to happen, so that can suggest them the way to not let this happen. It is always important to maintain their independence, that is the developmental task for every child and if they are not able to meet the needs can results delay in their development. It is not necessary that child can understand right way at the time we suggest. They need time to understand and think about this, so it is better to explain them clearly about both positive and negative scenario of the situation. Let them choose the way and appreciate whatever they choose. If they choose the best way that is marvelous, give some rewards for their good choices. It’s okay if they mislead the path, just remain with them and warn them in between. After doing that also they chose the way which they should not follow, allow them to come back to you instead of scolding for not obeying them. Be with them every time when they need and again help them to stand on their own like they did in childhood. Our job being a parent is just to stay on the side encouraging and supporting them to step up again.

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