My childhood days were very interesting and pleasing. I was
a shy little girl who was loved by everyone. My mum and dad, the most amazing
and caring parents in this world. I never realized what the struggle was, what
it felt not to be loved by parents and relatives. Overall, my childhood was a
wonderful and memorable moments of my life.
I still remember that incident when I was in first grade of
my school. I had participated in a running competition and my position was
last. However, I still wonder and feel so proud that I had participated in that
game. Actually, it was a running competition of senior grades students, so
called big boy’s competition. While they were collecting the name of
participants, I was there and I told them I want to play, they laughed at me and
replied politely, this is not your game sweetie and that’s obvious, but again I
insisted to participate. At this time, I thought why I can’t play if other can
play, that was the first childish thought come to my mind. Finally, although
that’s for humor, they decided to include me. Eventually, I made that game very
interesting to everybody. The funny thing was, when referee said get set and go,
I was about to run and by that time winner was already selected but I was still
running to reach the target point. One of my teachers was very surprised by my
courage. He came near to me and said “congratulations dear, you are last”. I
was very glad; I did not even understand meaning of first or last because he
gave me a pencil and copy as a prize, yay!
Everybody needs an inspiration and a role model to step
ahead in life. It is not necessary that we cannot move forward without
influencing factors. However, except some extraordinary people, rest of the
people need someone in their lifetime to lead in the right way of their
destination with invaluable support. While I was in school I had got very
wonderful friends and teachers who are responsible for what I am now. Without
them, I may get lost somewhere. Hence, I feel so lucky to have such amazing
friends and teachers.
Whereas, sometime having someone around you all the time can
make you dependent and can be harmful too. I realized that after I went to the capital
city of Nepal, Kathmandu for my Bachelor Degree. I was 18, innocent, dependent
and a naive. I was from remote village; I never traveled alone in public bus
and public places. I exactly did not know what I wanted to be in my life. I had
lost many times on the road of Kathmandu; it took me very long time to figure
out the direction to go. May be at that time I did not feel the necessity to
explore the world because I had already met a very sweet and adorable friend
Nirmala as my classmate. She was pretty with long hair and very caring
attitude. I have to say she was my best friend that I ever had. Despite of
being far from my family, I was not alone there only because of her. I had found
someone who can help me every time and for everything. In other words, without
even realizing myself, I was totally dependent on her.
Every individual is different person and they have their own
pace and style of learning. However, at that time, I just wanted to study how
Nirmala used to study and I never cared for the direction to go anywhere unless
she was there. I never tried to be myself, instead I always became as she was. She
was very intelligent and smart girl, so being like her never led me in reverse
direction. We used to enjoy walking together for long distance and loved to
talk with each other, at the same time we were serious about our study too.
Every person who knew both of us, always used to surprise and some of them used
to get jealous of our friendship. We used to be an example of what friends
should be alike. But, time is very cruel, that can change everything and even
our friendship. Since, one of our friend moved near to her house, she used to
come together with her and then we started to walk in the group. That was initial
change but a really hard moment for me to adjust. I felt like my best friend is
steadily going away from me. That sounds like awkward but I was emotionally
being very fragile. After certain time this change that I realized I cannot do
anything without her help like, studying, shopping, traveling and even making
new friends. In the beginning it was hurting a lot but immediately, one day a thought
came in my mind that everything happen for a reason and this is the time to be
myself and I have to explore the world on my own. I accepted that as a
challenge and as an opportunity to know myself. As a result, I tried to avoid
her slowly. Many times she wanted to come closer and asked me, what her fault was.
She did not even know why I was avoiding her, since then I had already changed
into myself. There was a time we both cried together because of this distance
between our friendships. By that time I was strong enough to handle myself and
explained to her it was not her mistake and it really wasn’t, instead that
helped me to understand my situation. It was all demand of time and I had to
pay my best friend for a while as the price of my dependency.
Luckily, we are still same best friend as we were before, besides substantial modification on my dependent attitude. Now, I am real me with my
own style, nature and ambition. Now I can go anywhere as I want, even I am in
America, without anyone’s help. I am not afraid to talk with anybody and can do
anything what I want. This way, I learned a lesson that we do not need to
change for anybody to impress and to be a smart enough because you are an
original piece which cannot be replaced by anyone else. You can shine your hidden
talents as fireworks do in the night with its light. Do not worry if all the
doors in front of you are closed, maybe it’s because you could open one and
will led you to the perfect road and will show the world why you are worth .
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